Vermont Public is independent, community-supported media, serving Vermont with trusted, relevant and essential information. We share stories that bring people together, from every corner of our region. New to Vermont Public? Start here.

© 2024 Vermont Public | 365 Troy Ave. Colchester, VT 05446

Public Files:
WVTI · WOXM · WVBA · WVNK · WVTQ · WVTX
WVPR · WRVT · WOXR · WNCH · WVPA
WVPS · WVXR · WETK · WVTB · WVER
WVER-FM · WVLR-FM · WBTN-FM

For assistance accessing our public files, please contact hello@vermontpublic.org or call 802-655-9451.
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
0:00 0:00
Available On Air Stations

For information about listening to Vermont Public Radio, please go here.

Awesome Etiquette: Asking People Not To Give Gifts

Leks Laputin
/
iStock
People often assume that they should bring a physical gift to a birthday party. If you're trying to keep your possessions to a minimum, how do you ask for "gifts of experience" only?

People often assume that you should bring a gift to a child's birthday party. But what if, as the parent, you don't want to keep accruing stuff in your home? How can you ask people to not give physical things for your child's birthday?  
Dear Lizzie and Daniel,

I have been diligently reducing my possessions over the last year I aim only to retain items that add value to my life and to better spend my time with family instead of maintaining stuff. I am also a new mama and have a 1-year birthday coming up. I would like to ask only for things we need; gifts of experience and especially spending quality time. I need help starting the conversation from a place of love and gratitude. Thank you immensely for your guidance.

Warmly,
Minimalist
Mama

The answer:

You're in a fortunate position of being a parent which means you do have the special privilege of offering some direction and guiding the experience of a birthday party and the gift experience of your child.

People are going to ask what might you like and that's a perfect time to say you'd prefer gifts of experience, like a play date at the park or going to a baby class. You can frame this in the positive by making suggestions about the type of thing that you want to encourage and experiences you want to generate for your child.

A final piece of advice: All you can do is make suggestions about gifts. You can't control what other people do. Whatever gifts are given to your child, receive them with a spirit of generosity, say thank you and make sure to acknowledge the gesture.

Latest Stories